I had found them again. They thought it was to see Heero. But it wasn’t.
At least, not anymore.
It was to see *him*. The only one to ever look at me and see who I really am, not a spoiled little brat intent on obtaining a new bauble. No, he sees me with all my fears, and loneliness, and uncertainties. In short, he sees *me*. I know he does. It’s in his gaze, and in the way he treats me. He’s the only one to ever support me without hurting me.
I thought that Heero’d be my strength to help me. He seemed tough enough and cold enough to deal with whatever life threw him.
But of what use is his strength if it crushes me down?
And he did. With every cold look, harsh word, and obvious dislike, Heero hammered me down.
It took me awhile to realize it, but now I know that *he’d* always tried to help me regain my shattered spirits during each rejection from Heero.
His gentle smile and thoughtful questions always made me smile in return. Even when I didn’t want to. And I never wanted to. Not with him. At first I didn’t want to associate with him. There had been something about his bright and open nature that seemed almost obscene in the light of the war. His trusting nature seemed too bright to be real in the darkness of the war.
And it was. Oh, I don’t mean to say that he was a liar or a poser or something like that. No, what he was noble, more than I could ever be, even with my purported bloodlines. His nobility arises from the fact that he can *still* be that strong even with everything that conspires to weaken him.
I know that everyone sees me as some blindly naive little girl who can’t see past her own nose. But I can, you know. It’s just... it’s just that even though that I do know better, what’s the point? I follow the path of least resistance. And that means not changing. So that lead to my habit of chasing after Heero.
Yes, habit. That’s really all that it became, even before I noticed *him*. After the hunt had become more and more methodical for me, the more I appreciated *his* efforts to soften the blows Heero gave. At first I had been curt and abrupt in my dealings with him. I was too intent on Heero. But then my focus started straying --- to him. Cliché as it may sound, I really did fall in love with his smile. His sweet, tender little grins aimed at me made me feel like I really *was* the Queen of the World. He just has a way of making you feel that way. It’s part of his charm.
I don’t know when it started, but after every time he’d escort me away from Heero with an apologetic look on his beautiful face, he’d give me a flower and tell me to smile. He’d say to me that kawaii girls weren’t meant to cry. Whether paper, a sunflower, a dandelion, it didn’t matter. The point is that he cared enough to try.
I think that that caring is what opened up the shielded heart of his quiet, intense partner.
I know.
I’m neither blind nor stupid, contrary to whatever Heero thinks of me, I’m sure. I know because I’d see the stoic face break into a slight smile at the sight of *him*. Whenever his silky hair would be bleached into brilliance by the sun, or whenever his smiling eyes would convey a silent message. Whatever he did, really, so long as it was him.
Yes.
I know that they’re together. But... I’m happy for *him*. I’m happy just being near him. Unlike Heero, I know that no matter what happens, I can always count on him. He’ll always have warmth and care.
I remember a time that Wufei had shown me into a room where all of them had been lounging in. I saw him smooth away all that hair from his beloved’s eyes so he could gaze into them as he talked to him. I wished that it would have been me.
Then Heero had caught sight of me and snarled at me again.
I didn’t mind.
In fact, I had almost been looking forward to it, because it meant that *his* attention would turn to *me*.
I received a yellow rose from *him* today. He seems to like that colour a lot. I like it too. If only because he likes it. But also because it reminds me of him. Sunshine, and light, and endless summer mornings is what he makes me think of.
I can’t tell him any of this now, because I don’t want to hurt him. Nor his intense partner too. I guess. But maybe... maybe someday I’ll get the chance to. I hope so with all of my heart. Even parts of it that were untouched by anybody, even by Heero.
But even if I never could... I’ll still be happy. As long as I can share his light, I’ll always be happy.
It’s enough just being near him.
If only once in a while.
“Is she gone yet?” Trowa queried.
“I saw her get into her car, so yes, she’s gone for now,” Quatre replied. “I hope she’ll visit us again.”
“How can you say that about that woman?” Wufei questioned Quatre incredulously. “She’s always getting us into trouble one way or another.”
“Anou,” Quatre’s gaze turned slightly troubled for a moment, “She’s more than what she seems, I think.”
Heero snorted his derision at Quatre’s observation.
He then made a flat demand for information. “What kind of flower did you give her this time?”
A graceful, slim-fingered hand twirled a golden rose. “A yellow rose, like this one.”
“Hn.”
Duo smiled at Heero mischievously. “What’s wrong? Jealous that someone’s gonna take Relena away from you?”
Heero’s reply was succinct and to the point. “Baka.”
The grin widened and Duo pounced on Heero. “But you love me anyways, ne?” Duo purred playfully.
“Aa,” was Heero’s low response.
But his grip tightened around Duo’s waist and his cheek leaned into Duo’s caressing fingers guiding the single, perfect yellow rose that Duo held in his hand.
~OWARI~
And even then{that she isn't dead yet ^^;;}, I always wondered why Relena never got the message that Heero doesn't really like her all *that* much. So then I thought maybe she really *was* just in it for the thrill of the chase. And then I wondered what would happen after the thrill faded away...
Relena: {shrieks}I protest!!! There's no way, no *how* I'll *ever* be attracted to that idiot!!!