DISCLAIMER : All characters belong to their respective owners. This is only a

product of my sick and twisted imagination *^_~

However, this ficcie belongs to ME!

two boys being lovers, just take the barf bag and leave.

AMONG OTHER THINGS : Angst and lotsa sap. I’m such a sadist !

* beams shamelessly *

It sucks, you know. When you realize no one cares at all. No one would give a damn if I died in the streets today with my guts spilt all over the road.

At first I thought I could live with it. Then I began to find life meaningless, I started to grow weary …

And then he appeared.

With his silly yet endearing grin and his long, chestnut braid that was ever so frivolous, that demanded more attention it was credited to.

I couldn’t help but observe what an odd name it was.

Until that night, after swigging eight bottles of booze, he suddenly started crying, tears streaming down that heart shaped face.

Alcohol has the tendency to take strange effects on people. I for one, had never

dealt with this situation before. So I did what my mind automatically told me to.

I panicked.

I often tense up if faced with anything unexpected or unencountered. More often than not, all those things I perform efficiently that seem so effortless are the result of sufficient training.

In other words, everything I do is mechanically programmed.

Automatic.

So after all that internal struggling between my mind and my body, I gave him a rather awkward hug and amidst all those tears that fell from the submissive violet eyes, he poured out a tale of pain and sorrow.

Of a boy who lost his innocence in an unimaginably young age.

Who lost everything and everyone .

Everyone including his first love.

‘ I nev’ got t’tell ‘im how much I cared y’know …’ he sobbed, his heart achingly

beautiful face flushed, ‘ an’ he died not knowin’ I’d been lovin’ ‘im ever since the day we met…’bout how h-happy I was when he’d named me after ‘im … well ... sorta, ne?’

And with that, I ended up carrying this drunken baka back to our bedroom.

No doubt his life was much more complicated than it appeared. I couldn’t help thinking about how hard it was just to keep up that smile everyday.

That daily grin. That happy-go-lucky attitude.

It was only a matter of time before I realized I had never seen Duo genuinely happy before. No matter how loud his laughter or giggles, his eyes always held a sort of unspoken sadness.

They say that the eyes are the window to one’s soul.

Sometimes, when he’d think that no one was watching him, I’d catch a glimpse

of his soul.

The very core of him that held so many secrets.

Hidden beneath a carefree smile.

With eyes that betrayed the forced laughter.

Beautiful violet orbs that contrasted harshly against his pale face. They showed maturity and experience beyond his 15 years, meant for a veteran.

Anyone would have thought him childish and immature. Until they look into his eyes, they will never know the truth.

Those eyes.

Besides his abnormally cheerful behavior, it was his eyes that drew me to him.

I had never seen anyone with eyes of such rich intensity before.

Twin pools of violet…

Not that I would have given a damn, though.

I deposited his lithe body on the stained, cotton sheets. Just as I was about to let go of him, he wrapped his slender arms around me and pulled me into an intimate embrace.

" Don’t leave m’…Solo…I love ya…y’know that dontcha? Hmm…..?" My heart pounded at his whispers.

The hot writhing body pressed against mine was too much. It wasn’t long before I was rubbing against his slim frame, begging for the release of the throbbing ache strained between my legs.

And before I knew it ,we were naked and tousled between the sheets in bed, satisfying our physical needs.

After a passionate bout of lovemaking, sated and satisfied, I leaned against the cracked headboard, reflecting on my earlier actions.

Watching that deceptively innocent face, long lashes against the soft skin, offering protection to the violet gems hidden under the lids, the gentle fall and rise of his smooth chest .

Listening to the quiet breathing in his peaceful slumber. And waiting out for the occasional, gentle snore.

Feeling the delicious warmth pressed lightly on my side, as I slowly, almost reverently brushed my fingers against the gentle curve of his cheek, caressing the tender skin .

Smelling the musky, unique scent , so comfortingly familiar as I leaned down, burying my face into his honey shot locks that pooled on his shoulder relieved of the tight band that held the strands together.

Tasting the honey of his mouth as I moved to his soft lips, carefully pressing mine against them. The soft recess of the moist cavern that they led to, as they parted ever so slightly against the gentle but insistent prodding of my tongue.

I tried to ignore the unpleasant ache in my chest.

The warm rays of sunshine in the cold, dark room of my entire being.

You fill the empty void in my whole existence.

More than anything in the whole universe.

It means nothing without you.

Yet I know you will never be mine.

But just for tonight, I’ll pretend it’s me you need.

Just for tonight.

Copyright © Aquarii a.k.a Janice 1999