Duo groaned and buried his head within his arms. He heard a knock at the door. Without bothering to even find out whom it was, he yelled at them to go away. He heard a pause before footsteps faded away. He wasn’t normally that rude, but his system just suffered a shock. He was allowed to indulge in a little childish behaviour, wasn’t he?

Well, even if he wasn’t he was still going to.

Damn it. Why couldn’t he have gotten at least a little notice before Heero went and did something like that? And he thought that he was supposed to be the stupid one. Damn. Really, who’d have ever thought that the ‘Perfect Soldier’ would go and kiss him...

Duo hummed happily as he filled out mission reports. Ninmu kanryou. Flawlessly. It wasn’t often that one would go as smoothly as this one did and damn if he wasn’t going to gloat about it for awhile. Ha! This’ll show Heero that one didn’t have to be an emotionless robot to get things done. Maybe then the guy’ll loosen up some. He doubted it, but hey, it was worth a shot, right?

He heard a slight noise come from the doorway and he whirled around to see Heero staring at him with those flat eyes. Duo attempted a characteristic wide grin and gave a cheerful greeting. He really wished that Heero would stop doing that to him. It was vaguely...well, creepy, really, to turn around and see Heero right behind at him. Didn’t he have anything better to do? Like, go and kill that blonde girl perhaps? "Hey, Heero! Did ya see the latest mission stats? Betcha did, didn’t ya? Anyways, beat that! A perfect setup!"

Heero just continued staring at him. More than a little unnerved Duo continued babbling, "Of course, it’s probably just normal fare for you, being the ‘Perfect Soldier’ and all, right? But us normal people haveta be content with the occasional triumphs, ne?" He winced internally. Great. Insult a guy with a higher kill ratio than you. And a gun-happy one to boot. "Not to say that there’s anything wrong with you, Hell! It probably means that something’s wrong with me, right?" Duo silently urged Heero, ~Come on, say something!~

Finally Heero spoke. "Good job."

Duo’s grin turned genuine. "Thank you. It means a lot coming from you." Of course it did. Heero was his friend. He hadn’t had one in a long time and approval from someone like Heero probably meant he’d get a trophy from anyone else.

Heero went nearer and rested his hip against the desk. Duo gazed at him quizzically before dismissing it. Even Heero probably got tired once in awhile. "The odds were against you."

Duo said cynically, "Aren't they always?"

"You didn’t fail."

Obviously not. Otherwise he wouldn’t still be here. "Of course not."

"You’ve always won."

Duo was perplexed at Heero’s odd behaviour. Was the guy sick, or what? "Heero, are you OK? Do you want me to get you something?" He stood up and placed a hand against Heero’s forehead. Normal. "Really, it wouldn’t be a problem at all, you know." He was somewhat surprised that Heero hadn’t knocked his hand away. He smiled at Heero. Maybe this meant that Heero was finally beginning to open up to him.

Heero just looked at him and moved closer.

Duo managed a startled, "Hee -- !" before something stopped him.

Heero kissed him.

Duo went still with shock. His eyelids slowly fluttered close and he began to respond before quickly breaking away. His hand rose to his lips. "Whaa...?"

Heero tried to catch Duo in his arms and Duo evaded, still staring at Heero with widened eyes.

Then he turned and ran from the room.

Duo stared at the ceiling of his bedroom. That had happened a few hours ago. Well, that was a complete fuck-up. He should be thrilled, shouldn’t he? Heero was finally opening up to him and what does he do? Run away.

But... it’s not like he ever really expected Heero to respond to his overtures. ~Of friendship!~ he hastily amended. So that was why he went more and more over-the-top in them. Nothing to gain, nothing to lose, why shouldn’t he do whatever he wanted? Or so he’d thought. He’d never even suspected that Heero leaned that way, much less that he leaned towards *him*!

Heero... Why did he have to go and mess up their comfortable routine? Duo sat up and ran his fingers through his hair absently. But... could it work? Maybe... maybe he ought to give it a chance. Even though he didn’t think that *he* leaned that way. But... But if Heero was actually *trying*, then shouldn’t *he* try as well?

He’d just never thought of Heero, or any guy, that way before. He supposed that Heero was attractive, and if he was trying to be honest, then he supposed that Heero was gorgeous. If you went for that type.

~Am I? Could I?~ Duo thought as he stared up at the ceiling. ~I... I like him. I trust him. He’s my partner, for crying out loud! I’d sorta haveta. And he’s good-looking. And... and he’s probably my best friend, for all that he ignores me. Heh. Isn’t ignoring me now, is he?~

He huffed out in exasperation. ~And... and we could make it work, right? I could learn to love him. I *could* love him. I probably already do, just... not in that way. Otherwise, why do I always worry about him? Why do I always want to be near him?~ Duo was starting to get over the shock and seriously considering taking Heero up on his silent offer.

Then his thoughts veered off in another direction.

Another knock on the door startled him. He irritably yelled again for the person to go away. He went back to his thoughts when he heard Heero’s voice drift in.

Shit! He hesitated. Should he let Heero in? Or keep him out? But... he’d have to talk to Heero sooner or later, right? Might as well sooner. He slowly went up and opened the door. Duo avoided Heero’s eyes as he closed the door and sat back down on the bed.

Just before the silence became too uncomfortable, Heero spoke up. "Duo, why did you run from me?"

Still avoiding eye contact, Duo replied, "I... I’m sorry."

Heero moved closer. "I thought that you liked me. Was I wrong?" His tone made it clear that the answer had better not be ‘yes’.

Duo finally looked into Heero’s slightly darkened eyes. "No, I like you."

"Then what was the problem?"

Duo gazed deeply into Heero’s cobalt blue eyes. Maybe... maybe it just *might* work. He had nothing to lose and everything to gain, right? If he took the chance, then well... He decided.

"Nothing," he sighed as he gave Heero a slow, lingering kiss.

Heero responded and moved Duo down on the bed. {No, they didn’t screw like bunnies. ^_~}

Duo gently disentangled himself from Heero’s arms and gazed down on Heero’s sleeping features. Can he? Now that he knew that Heero actually cared about him, *can* he continue? He still didn’t think that he was attracted to guys, and he didn’t really want to get emotionally involved with another Gundam pilot. But... now that he had actually *started* things, he should continue, right? Duo brushed away a few locks of hair from Heero’s brow. A soft smile touched his lips as Heero murmured something and snuggled closer. ~Kawaii...~

Duo drifted off to sleep with the thought that he’ll think about it some more later. Right now, all he wanted was to sleep safely in the arms of somebody who actually cared for him...

"Duo, stop it." Heero gave a low command as Duo wriggled away from him.

Duo attempted a wide eyed ‘I-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about’ stare. Heero didn’t fall for it. He knew Duo too well for that. He growled threateningly as Duo once again tried to get up from within his embrace. "Stop it. You’re the one that wanted to watch this movie. So sit still and enjoy it." A silent ‘or else’ hovered in the air.

Duo looked at Heero, then hesitantly laid his head down on his shoulder and was rewarded by Heero’s arms tightening around him possessively. Sure, he had wanted to see the movie. Why wouldn’t he? It was a classic after all. And he had never thought he’d be able to since all copies were supposed to have been lost or destroyed during the long years of war. Of course he’d been thrilled when somehow Heero had managed to unearth one. Of course he had acquiesced happily when Heero suggested that the two of them watch it.

He just didn’t expect Heero to snag him in his arms as soon as the trailers started. And in the dark, somehow, *something* had started chanting in him, ‘Too close! Too close! Too close!’ And so he tried to get away. Heero would have nothing of that, so in his arms he stayed. Duo tried to ignore the niggling panic in his brain and turned his attention to the movie.

Duo silently tiptoed into the room. He hoped futilely that Heero would be asleep already. That way he could avoid his questioning. He was exhausted from the mission that he just came from. He didn’t need any more grief. Especially from Heero. Too many things were connected with him already; he didn’t want to have something else to untangle later.

He winced as his elbow knocked over a chair. Damn. That was gonna aggravate the cut some more. He tried to quietly set the chair up but only ended up knocking it back down as his wound flared up on him. Shit! He tried to suppress a curse as he pressed down on the bandage.

The light blazed on. He blinked against the sudden brightness and failed to notice Heero coming up to him.

"Idiot."

Somehow, he managed to give a grin in return. "First time I see you, well, almost anyways, in two weeks and the first thing you do is insult me?" His vision cleared up and he saw Heero’s pissed visage two inches away from him. He gave a little ‘eep!’ and skittered back. Tried to anyways. He fell over the chair and landed on his injured arm.

Heero glared at him and helped him up. "You should’ve waited for me to back you up."

Duo sighed and watched silently as Heero helped him redress his arm. ~Gomen, but I couldn’t...~

"Hee~eeroo!"

Heero and Duo both reacted to that voice instantaneously. Duo shot an irritated glance at Heero, only to frown when he saw Heero’s face soften marginally. A voice immediately began shouting indignantly in his mind. ‘He’s not supposed to like her! It’s okay for *you* to be unsure but he’s not allowed--!’ Duo hushed the voice up and turned his attention back to Heero. During the short amount of time he was preoccupied, Relena had managed to come over and was now looking at Heero hopefully.

Duo had a troubled look on his face as he watched Heero glance at him apologetically once before leaving with Relena. ~What the hell?~ He didn’t even know why Heero had left.

He watched their retreating backs for a few seconds, then turned around and walked away. He missed the longing, backwards glance that Heero cast towards him.

"Smile, Heero!" Duo mugged for the camera and glomped Heero. Quatre laughed and took the picture. It was a rarity that Quatre and Trowa were in the same area as Heero and Duo. They took advantage of that and planned a day out. Duo and Quatre tried to contact Wufei too, but he declined with the reason that he was busy with Sally. Duo had given a mischievous wink and an encouraging ‘Ganbatte!’ Quatre wished Wufei well as he merely sniffed and signed off.

Duo and Quatre had been the ones to plan the activities for the day. Trowa and Heero were too busy comparing notes on the mission. It took the combined charm of Duo and Quatre to pry those two away from Heero’s computer. Trowa had apologised with a smile aimed at Quatre. Duo had paused in his distraction of Heero to note this. A startled, ~So... Those two are together, too...~ crossed his mind.

As Duo bounced along the sidewalk chatting with Trowa and Quatre, he became aware of the vaguely smug expression on Quatre’s face whenever he looked at Trowa, and Trowa’s amused look when he gazed at Quatre. Duo smirked. He’d give a lot to find out just what happened between those two. Heero quietly paced beside Duo, and occasionally brushed his hand against Duo’s.

Afterwards, no amount of cajoling managed to pry Heero and Trowa away from the laptop so Quatre and Duo had ended up talking on the balcony of their current hideout. Duo sighed and looked up at the stars.

Quatre gave a worried, "Daijobu?"

"Aaa," Duo replied. He then looked at Quatre. He debated whether or not to ask, but gave an enigmatic question. "Is it worth it?"

Somehow, Quatre knew what he was talking about and gave a serious, "It always is."

"How can you be sure that it’ll last? That you’re even meant to be in the first place?"

Quatre gave Duo a reply that would haunt him for months afterwards. "Ever afters don’t last unless you make them, and sometimes the princess has to see that the prince needs her too. You can’t ever rely on fate, ne?"

"Duo," Heero uttered in a low voice as Duo kneaded his shoulders.

"Hm?" Duo absently brushed a kiss between Heero’s shoulder blades.

Heero turned over and gave Duo an uncharacteristic smile, small as it was. "You know how much you mean to me?" It wasn’t a question, so much as a statement.

Duo replied with a noncommittal, "Hm."

Heero apparently took that as an agreement as he pulled Duo into his arms with a quick tug. Duo laid his head on Heero’s chest and listened to his heart beat as they lay quietly in their room, content to just spend time in each other’s company.

Duo practically pounced on Heero as he entered the room.

"Wha-?" was all Heero managed to get out before he was effectively silenced by Duo’s lips.

Duo broke off the kiss abruptly. "Ne, Heero? We’re going out tonight," he said with a manic gleam in his eyes. "You deserve it after all your hard work, ne?" Duo purred as he stroked Heero’s neck affectionately.

Heero gazed intently at Duo. Something was bothering him. He was suddenly yanked out the door by a hurried Duo. He promised himself that he’d find out what it was later. Right now he would enjoy whatever Duo had in mind.

Duo quickly locked the door. ~Why doesn’t that girl just go away and leave us alone?~

Four months. Duo smiled as Heero kissed him passionately. His hands wandered up Heero’s back caressingly. They’d been together four months and nothing bad had happened yet. Well, overly so anyways. Duo tilted his head to deepen the kiss. For all his doubts about his orientation, it seemed that he was having no problems at all in responding enthusiastically whenever Heero touched him.

Heero took a playful swipe at Duo’s tongue with his own. Maybe this ever after would last after all...

Duo scowled as he saw Relena approaching Heero yet again. Two months now she’d began showing up wherever Heero went. Didn’t she have anything better to do? And it didn’t help matters much that Heero wouldn’t tell her to go away or shoot her or something. Duo briefly considered shooting the girl himself, then regretfully decided not to. Like it or not, that girl was the key to the peace. He aimed an imaginary gun at her head. She was the key, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.

He gave a final glare in their direction and stalked away.

Duo eyed Heero’s slumbering body with indecision. He gave it a chance. He really did. And it seemed to work out at first. Heero’d gotten him to let go of his inhibitions and accept that yes, he really did want Heero in that way. He had been falling in love with Heero. Not just love him, which he already had, but actually fall *in* love. He had started to have faith in their ever after lasting...

Then Relena showed up. And kept showing up. Over and over and over again. And she seemed to have some kind of hold over Heero.

Any other thing, Duo’d have fought back and held on to what he wanted. But in this case...

Duo sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. This time he wasn’t really sure of what to do. He didn’t know whether or not to cut his losses and move on. Maybe this ever after just wasn’t meant to be. After all, why would it work? They were both guys, right? And it shouldn’t even have started in the first place...

Duo clutched at his cross as he brushed his lips over Heero’s softly. He placed a letter beside Heero’s pillow. Then he got up and resolutely headed out the door. It was for the best. It had to be.

Really, it never should have started. It was a sin. He should just be glad that they never went too far before his soul was damned to hell. If he wasn’t already bound there anyways. So this was all for the best, right?

And Heero probably changed his mind anyways. Why else would he have been spending all that time with Relena? He should get out before he gets hurt any more. That would only make him a useless soldier. That was all he had left. He certainly didn’t have Heero anymore. If he ever did. He should be glad to get away from that psychotic, right?

Right.

Duo ignored the piteous little voice in his head crying.

‘I love him.’

‘Why?’ Duo couldn’t answer the voice, but that didn’t matter. He just had to get out. Duo resisted the urge to turn back and crawl back in bed with Heero. ~Damn it! Stop it!~ he screamed inside at the crying part of him. ~This is why I didn’t ever want to get involved in the first place! Damn it!~ Duo tried with all his might to squash that voice, but it seemed to only cry more whatever he did. Duo Maxwell did not cry!

Duo began to feel angry. Why was this so hard? He was genuinely sorry that he left but... he just couldn’t handle it anymore. It was just too much, too soon. Maybe... maybe someday he’d return to see Heero, but right now all he needed was to get away! He couldn’t stay and have to deal with his raging emotions in addition to the fighting on the battlefield. He just couldn’t take it. He had to go.

Duo disappeared in the night, once more ignoring the little voice that whimpered out, ‘He’ll get over it, but will I?’

Heero dreamed of embracing Duo and of finally telling him the words that had been bottled up inside him for so long... Heero dreamed of whispering ‘I love you...’ He tried to pull Duo in closer but he couldn’t seem to find him. Heero restlessly turned over in his sleep trying to find Duo’s familiar, warm body. His wandering arm knocked aside the pillow beside him.

A piece of paper fluttered to the ground. Visible was a single line written in Duo’s distinctive handwriting. ~I’m sorry...~

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