Friends and loves we have none, nor wealth nor blessed abode,
But the hope of the City of God at the other end of the road.

"Your Exellency?" A diffident voice broke in. Lady Une appeared at the slightly open doorway.

"Hm," Treize absently glanced over at her over his shoulder, then shook his head a bit. He gave her a slight smile. "Forgive my inattentiveness, Lady."

With a betraying flush on her face, Lady Une reported in an even voice, "The other Federation Leaders are already present in the conference room."

"Ah, yes," Treize murmured. He stood up and placed his half-empty glass down on his desk. Immaculate as always, he smoothed his stiff uniform jacket. "Thank you for informing me, Lady. I had completely lost track of the time."

Lady Une nodded. "I understand, Your Exellency. Perhaps you would appreciate a few extra minutes?"

Treize paused for a moment before replying, "Yes, I would appreciate a respite before the meeting."

Lady Une nodded once more and said, "If you would excuse me, I shall inform the guests of the slight delay." She left the room on his silent dismissal and gently shut the door.

Treize abruptly stood next to the window. He stared at the clear skies outside and uttered in a low voice, "Differing powers, similar motives, except one. The prince attempted the takeover for the love of the queen. I attempt this for no one person. Not even myself." He rested his tawny head against the glass. ~No, in truth, this is for everyone...~

He suddenly picked up his goblet and held it up to the light in a toast. ~As I had just informed Zechs, time is of the essence. I should not provoke the Federation leaders unnecessarily now.~ He whispered to himself, "To the completion of the great cause, whatever it may lead to." He took a long draught from the goblet and laid it down on the windowsill, dangerously close to the edge.

Treize straightened his pristine white gloves, and adjusted the fall of his uniform jacket. Then, without even a single glance backwards, he left the room.

The force of his sudden withdrawal caused the elegantly crafted goblet to teeter on the brink. The radiant sunlight streaming through the window caused the goblet to gleam in a tawny golden brown. The translucent quality of the glass revealed the vibrant red contained within.

Were he not so intent on his goal, he might have noticed, and possibly prevented, the fall of the exquisite goblet. It fell gracefully from on high only to shatter on the hardwood floor. With a dreadful finality, the dark red liquid seeped into the golden wood, irrevocably lost forever.

Not for us are content, and quiet, and piece of mind,
For we go seeking a city that we shall never find.

With a huff she sank back into the plush coverings. She thought of the other person who had been troubling her mind recently. "Heero... just who are you? What are you? Why are you there at the base instead of at my party?" A little furrow appeared between her brows as she thought of his threat to her. But he couldn't have been serious. Surely not. She nodded to herself. Heero may have his secrets, so many secrets, but surely he couldn't do it. Besides, why would he? She scowled briefly. He claimed that she knew too much? Mou, she hardly knew *anything* about him.

Relena looked out the window again. Such a long trip. Really, how much longer would it take before she could see him again? She noticed the signs the car passed outside. A few more minutes then. Just enough time to think of what she would say to him. Relena closed her eyes as she tried to imagine how the meeting would go. Their previous meetings hadn't really gone over well.

Their first time, he had been unconscious, and she had been frantic. Who would have thought that on her way home that she would encounter a body washed up on the shores? She had been shocked, and that had rooted her to her spot before she rushed over. After she has called for help, she took off his helmet, and then, she had caught her first glimpse of those dark cobalt blue eyes. ~It's his eyes,~ Relena decided. ~They're what caught my attention. Such intense eyes for a boy so young.~ She opened her own eyes to look outside again. "A few more minutes..."

When would she ever find what she was looking for? ~All I want is... what do I want?~ She sighed. "I want... I want to know Heero. I.." Relena absently traced a pattern into her dress skirt. ~I want... just what *do* I want? But whatever it may be, with his intensity, Heero should be able to help me with it. Shouldn't he?~

The car stopped and the chauffer announced, "We have arrived at the destination, Relena-sama. Shall I accompany you?"

Relena shook her head and declined with a sweet smile. "No, this is something I have to do alone. Thank you."

The chauffer nodded and informed her that he would wait in the car then. Relena smiled once more and exited the car.

As she climbed the steps, Relena worriedly nibbled at her lower lip. ~Why don't I know? Why can I never know? Just what is my fate? Is he part of it? Father... Why must he always leave? Why can I never find anything I'm searching for?~

A cold eyed boy's face entered her vision.

"Heero..."

There is no solace on earth for us --- for such as we ---
Who search for a hidden city that we shall never see.

The helicopter landed amongst the ruins of the base. After thanking the pilot, Noin turned to Zechs and hesitantly asked, "Shall I accompany you?" They both knew where his first destination would be now that he was in the Sank Kingdom.

Zechs shook his head and declined with a faint smile. "No, I must do this alone. But," he paused, "could you please handle the matter of...?" He left the request at that. Noin would know what he was talking about. He had to remain... detached, it would be too much of a jar to him at the moment to deal with the retrieval of Otto, and TallGeese. It would distract him from his purpose. Noin understood and she gave him a sympathetic glance and excused herself. He watched her receding back, then headed off to his objective.

Zechs looked up at the run-down remains of the Sank Kingdom palace. The structure had held up surprisingly well in spite of the fact that it had survived the Federation takeover, and now OZ's. His orders had been to spare the city, they had only needed control over the military facilities. He had doubted that they could have saved the building, considering that it was presently unoccupied, it could not be considered a part of the city. He had taken it as a sign that it had remained after all this time.

He entered the building. Memories flooded him as he surveyed his surroundings. ~I wonder, what might have been if the Federation had never taken over? Would I have taken after Father? What would have happened to *her*?~

Zechs Merquise wandered around the old building. Finally, after all those years, he had returned home. He stopped and stared at the massive portrait of his father. He took off his mask. "It took me thirteen long years to return and stand on this land again. Please forgive me, father..."

Only the road and the dawn, the sun, the wind, and the rain,
And the watch-fire under stars, and sleep, and the road again.

If it weren't for the poor intelligence management by incompetent staff members, there wouldn't have been all the failures experienced so far. That was why Lady Une was currently preparing for the forthcoming confrontation with the Gundams personally. OZ had to use its best intelligence capabilities. His Excellency deserved no less.

Lady Une returned her focus onto the screen. ~Hm... Interesting. 01's most notable characteristic is the maneuverability in its fighter shape. What would be the best strategy against it? Ah, yes. That would do well.~ She typed in her personal notes the approach she deemed the most efficient way to dispatch of the Gundam.

Now as for 02. This one was a bit trickier than 01. This was the one that always quietly sneaked up to carry out its attack. She made a mental note to come back to that Gundam later.

03's weak spot was a bit easier to figure out. Its ammunition supply would be the vulnerable point. The key would be to make it use up all its ammo as quickly as possible.

04 was quite similar to 03 in its characteristics, though its versatility was more advanced.

05. The Gundam with the cannon on its left arm. Lady Une scowled at the thought of this one. She finally decided that superior forces would be the key to destroy this one.

Lady Une made another key note into her files: None of the Gundams were trained in coordinated fighting. This should be exploited by OZ soldiers when in battle against the five.

Lady Une glanced over her notes in a quick review. ~01, check. 02...~ She paused for a moment. ~Hm. The best way would be to overwhelm this Gundam with quick strikes by the Mobile Suits. 03, check. 04... similar tactics to 03, except with a few modifications to account for its greater versatility. 05, check.~ She leaned back in her chair. That was all of them. She had notes and strategies on how to possibly defeat the Gundams in battle, yet she still felt that something was missing. A certain... element, a flair, perhaps.

~The colonies. Yes, the colonies are the ones who are rebelling against us. They must be taught a lesson.~ Lady Une decided as she discovered what was bothering her. Even if the five Gundams were eliminated, the colonies would still not be chastised enough. They would eventually try to rebel again. She took off her glasses and rubbed at her slightly weary eyes. ~I could almost admire their spirit. 'Dreamers may die, but the Dream is Eternal' seems so appropriate a saying for them.~

There shouldn't be any more death. His Excellency would not approve. So now would be the time to teach the colonies the lesson that OZ was not to be trifled with. ~So what to do...~

Lady Une adjusted her glasses back on as she thought of the problem, her brow furrowed. ~Sacrifice a few to save the many...~ It took so little to get rid of all those colonies. "Perhaps..." Her face cleared up. Yes. That would be the plan. This would inform the colonies that OZ was a power unto itself and would tolerate nothing. Perhaps that would stop the rebellion. She abruptly stood up to implement her scheme. "Connect me to the space missile sites Center. This is Lady Une..."

We seek the City of God, and the haunt where beauty dwells,
And we find the noisy mart and the sound of burial bells.

Half a year. Six months. Hundreds of hours, thousands of minutes, a multitude of seconds. It seems so long. But when you think about it, it's really a very short time in the scheme of things. While it was slightly more that a blink in his young life, it was still barely a sigh. Still so very brief. It reminded him of something he'd read once, 'He said he'd always thought there'd be time to work things out, and then one day there was no more time.'

He leaned back slightly against the cool metal of his Gundam. ~I never thought that she would affect me so. After all, we were so young. Too young. But still, we were old enough to have formed our own opinions and beliefs. Just as I was starting to know what she meant to me, she was taken away from me.~ The rushing sound of the waterfall filled his ears as he reflected on his past. ~Justice... I wonder, is what I'm doing, what we're all doing, truly justice? Are all the men in those Mobile Suits truly aware of what the true intentions of OZ are? Are they merely helpless puppets? Am I even making a difference? Or am I just futilely striking at the snake's tail?~

He shifted position slightly. ~What of their families? Family... Nataku... So very strong. Stronger than anyone. You closed your eyes before I had shown myself worthy of being your husband. Nataku... you died to protect this machine,~ he gently caressed the Gundam, ~so your spirit lives on in it. I fight on for justice, I live for justice, to capture your spirit.~

Wufei opened his eyes slightly to survey the area. The forest was beautiful, but not as beautiful as a certain field of flowers. A pained look crossed his face as he remembered the cost of the protection of the flowers. ~Nataku... You've taught me to fight for justice, the price of just letting events slide by.~ He sighed. Memories of his wife always overwhelmed him with the emotions they brought with them. But he would still not trade them for anything. His memories were both terrible and wonderful all at once, and he didn't want to lose the wonder, just because of the grief.

An eagle soaring overhead caught his gaze. "What a lively creature you are..."

Never the golden city, where radiant people meet,
But the dolorous town where mourners are going about the street.

"Wh... where am I?"

A warm hand caressed his soft cheek. "You're here with me." A beautiful woman with a serene look on her face smiled at him. She had wavy golden hair and hauntingly familiar blue eyes.

Quatre was confused. He was sure that he had never met this woman before in his life, and yet, there was... something. Something in her that called to him and made him feel like he'd known her all his life. He hesitantly asked, "I'm sorry, but, have we met before?"

A wistful look crossed the woman's face as she answered. "No, we haven't met, though I've wanted to."

Quatre knew that he should feel cautious with strangers, but somehow this woman didn't feel like one. She felt... warm. Like the sun given life.

"Are you feeling better now?" A concerned expression creased the woman's golden brow.

Quatre immediately tried to reassure her. "Yes. I do feel better. Although, I'm not quite sure of what happened."

She gently brushed the hair back from his forehead. "Don't worry about that now. You're safe here. Nothing will harm you while you're with me."

He believed her. He didn't know *why*, and somehow, he didn't really care. All that mattered right now that he could stop fighting for awhile and bask in her warmth. Warmth that reminded him of a certain other person...

The woman gained a knowing look in her eye as some hidden sign apparantly crossed Quatre's face. "Is there someone special you're thinking of that you want to return to?"

He gave a start. He didn't think that what he'd been thinking had been obvious.

"I'm sorry." The woman's face held an apologetic expression. "Is it too private? I didn't mean to pry."

Quatre smiled at her. No, it wasn't too personal. Not with her. He wanted her to know. "You weren't prying. I.. I suppose I had been thinking about one of my fellow pilots. I..." he paused, unsure of how to express himself clearly.

She nodded encouragingly. He felt enheartened by her silent support. "His name is Trowa. At least, that's what he's called. I'm not quite sure of how I feel about him. I know I like him, I consider him a friend."

"He must be a very special person to deserve your devotion."

"He is," Quatre mused. "I like him, but I don't really know anything about him."

"And that frustrates you sometimes, doesn't it? You want to know him, so that you could help him." A simple statement came from her. One line that so very eloquently expressed his jumbled thoughts about a certain green-eyed Gundam pilot.

Quatre blew out an exasperated huff. "It does. He's so private. He can't help it, that's just the way he is. I want to help him. I want to help all of them."

"The other pilots?"

Quatre nodded.

"Your family?"

Quatre faltered, then nodded slowly.

She understood. She returned the subject to his fellow pilots in order to give him time to compose himself. "Perhaps you'd like to tell me about them?"

He gave a slightly bewildered smile. He didn't quite understand anything that was happening, but it all felt so *right* that he continued. "There are four other pilots. I've already told you about one, Trowa. He.. he's the one I feel closest to, although he's not the one I know the most. Not to say that he's the one I know least. That spot goes out into a tie for Heero and Wufei. Heero... I don't understand how he can be so cold, so commited to the cause that he can willingly die on an order."

He paused, trying to grasp for the words to convey his thoughts, "Although, sometimes, I'll see him looking at Duo with.. I don't know.. *something* in his eyes that makes him not quite as dead. It's almost the same as when he looks at this certain girl. Duo... I like him too. Not in the same way as Trowa, I like Duo as.. as a brother? That seems right. I worry about him sometimes. Heh, I worry about them all."

He knew that somehow, the woman already knew him, she already knew all this, and that she was just giving him an opportunity to sort through his thoughts. He was grateful to her for that. God knew that nowadays he didn't really have enough time to do anything other than fight.

Quatre took a deep breath. "Wufei... There's something in him that hints of a painful past, but then again, that's something in all of us." He repeated in a low voice, "All of us..." He shook his head and continued, "We're all fighting for peace, to liberate the colonies. Sometimes, though, I wonder if we're doing the right thing? What one considers right is something someone else considers wrong. Is it right for us to try and impose our will on others? What we are trying to protect has turned against us. They all view us as the enemy. Maybe we are. But I still feel that we have to keep on fighting for what we believe in. I..." He broke off and gave her a rueful smile. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling."

She gave him a comforting hug. "Don't worry. I'll understand. You need to sort through things, this is a very confusing time for you."

Quatre closed his eyes and leaned into her arms. He whispered, "I wish my father understood too."

She seemed to know that all he needed from her at the moment was her willingness to listen, a sympathetic ear, and she provided that for him.

Quatre confessed to her in a muffled voice, "I've tried to tell him what I believe, that I think what I'm doing is right. He believes that war is impossible and pointless. I agree with that. But he believes that the war could be solved through discussion. I don't. If no one fights, then the war will never be over." He whispered, "Why can't he listen?"

She gave him a gentle kiss on the brow. "He understands. He's just worried and protective about you. He loves you."

"I love him, too." He leaned back and gave her a gentle smile. He knew that this would be the only meeting he would ever have with her, so he had to say it. "I love you, too."

She enfolded him within her arms again. "I love you, Quatre. I'm proud of you. Always remember that. Also," a serious look came into her eyes as she gazed intensely into Quatre's eyes. "Remember to always follow your heart. It may sound cliché, but the saying wouldn't have lasted all these years if it wasn't true. You're a good person. Trust in yourself."

"I will." Quatre sighed. Time was growing short. He could just feel it. A sad expression settled on his face. "Thank you for listening to me. I've been talking with you this whole time, and yet I still don't know who you are."

The beautiful woman's face contained a melancholy knowledge in it. "I'm sure that you have your suspicions by now, Quatre."

He cocked his head slightly as he gazed at her face. "I... I think I do."

Tears blurred his vision as he watched her gradually fade away...

Quatre slowly opened his eyes.

"You're awake, hm. How do you feel? This is a resource mining satellite. I wonder why were you in that Mobile Suit? You don't look like a Federation soldier..."

We travel the dusty road till the light of the day is dim,
And sunset shows us spires away on the world's rim.

The day had started normally enough. Well, as normal as a day could get at the Circus. He had gone on his rounds to feed the animals, dodging several screaming children and a clown agilely. He had heard something about water balloons, peanuts, a mouse, an elephant, and a very unhappy clown. He winced in remembrance of the... *colourful* language that had flew from shrieking clown's mouth. Oh, he had been *very* unhappy.

Trowa had avoided thinking about what might have happened and silently went on his duties. If the blistering threats he had heard were any indication of what the unfortunate clown had gone through, then he very much did *not* want to know. In fact, he had been so busy ignoring everything to tune out the chaos that he had been taken by surprise by a young boy around his age.

'Trowa! Trowa! It's Trowa, isn't it?!' the golden-haired boy had exclaimed excitedly.

He had responded with a puzzled, 'Who are you?'

The boy merely repeated his name again, 'Trowa!'

Trowa knew that he should be feeling something close to irritation because the other didn't answer him. But strangely enough, all he felt was.. affection? That prompted him to repeat his query. 'Do you know me?'

It was at this point that his sister had appeared, ordering him away from the boy. He had hesistated, something about the golden child had stirred up feelings in him. Cathrine had demanded he go, and so he reluctantly followed. He heard the faint protestation of the boy and then his sister's sharp questioning. The words were too vague for him to catch the exact meaning of before he was too far away, but what he heard convinced him that he had a connection with the boy.

Trowa felt that he had known the boy somehow, that they had been friends... maybe more? Something about him...

He tried to recall just *how* he knew the boy, but drew a blank. Except somehow he knew that the beautiful boy was gentle, and kind. He loved to play the violin, and he, Trowa, had liked to accompany his music with the lilting voice of the flute. He shook his head. How had he known that?

It was like there was a deep bond between the two of them that transcended normal boundaries, something that enabled him to feel the boy...

"Who is... that...? I know him... I feel I know him..."

We travel from dawn to dusk, till the day is past and by,
Seeking the Holy City beyond the rim of the sky.

He was on his way to the colony to take care of the OZ soldiers located there. Take care. What an odd phrase. It sounded like he should be going over with tea and cookies but in reality he was going over to kill them. He would become Shinigami once more.

Shinigami. More than a Gundam. At least it was to him. No, he really didn't think of either himself or his mobile suit as the god of Death. He wasn't that far gone. Duo smirked. He didn't think so, but maybe the others weren't quite so sure. Shinigami was his partner. The one constant in his life. His Gundam was the only thing that saved him time and time again without hesitation.

How pitiful was that? But that girl, Hirde, hadn't she saved him? Well, then that was one. But Heero saved you, too, his conscience prompted him. Oh, yeah. Him too. ~But then again he's landed me in trouble more often than not, so does that really count?~ Duo grumbled to himself. Then he grinned, ~Okay, it counts. Considering it's him, then it probably counts more than if Quatre had saved me.~

Quatre. Heero. Fellow Gundam pilots. United in their cause to protect the colonies. At least until they get their orders otherwise. ~Nope, too harsh.~ Duo decided. He really did believe that they were all fighting for the same thing. It's just that they went around in different ways to reach it. Even Relena was fighting in her own way. ~Not that she'd admit that it's fighting.~

That girl was too stubborn to admit it, but he had to admit that perhaps sometimes her way produced more results than they did in their Gundams. *Sometimes*. Most of the time it seemed that even if they all argued and talked themselves blue in the face the war still wouldn't end.

Did that really happen? It's never happened to him, and he should know shouldn't he? The whole blue in the face thing, that is. He couldn't help it. The others just didn't seem to want to do anything but focus on the mission. Duo appreciated the fact that they were so dedicated, he was too. But it also drove him crazy, not literally mind you. Other than Quatre's music, that silence seemed to be the only thing the others produced. Except when they were yelling at him to shut up.

Not Quatre though. He never yelled, never screamed, never really lost his temper. His mind, maybe, but not his temper. He smacked himself even as he mentally apologized to Quatre. ~That was a very bad joke, even for you,~ he chided himself. ~Maybe you really *are* losing it.~ Quatre was a good friend, and he shouldn't think like that.

Whenever he'd try to start a conversation other than business with the others, Trowa would just look at him and then leave. Wufei would more often than not snarl at him to keep quiet, that Duo was distracting him. Heero would just ignore him. Most of the times. And Quatre actually tried to listen and talk too. So he supposed that it didn't really make a difference if he tried or not. But he still did. Duo made a face. It was just the way he was. And it was that persistence that made him a good soldier. It was what made all of his friends good pilots.

Friends. Duo supposed that he could count the other pilots as his friends. Even Heero. They just.. feh. He didn't know what to think of them, really. But they probably didn't know what to think of him either. ~They probably wonder how I can keep it all inside,~ Duo mused. But he didn't. He took it out on the enemy.

Enemy. Were they really? Couldn't they forgive and forget? That was what Father Maxwell would have said. And Sister Helen too. They could've done it. In fact, they did, when they... ~But could I do that? No, if I could then I wouldn't even be in Shinigami in the first place.~

Duo sighed. ~What am I doing? Why am I being so...~ He couldn't even find the words to describe his mood at the moment. Maybe he was getting too old for the war. He snorted. He was too young for the war too. Contradiction much?

Contradiction. Maybe he was. Maybe they all were. It wasn't like they could help it. Someone had to fight to protect the many, and who else would do it? He didn't see any other volunteers. So that was why the burden fell on five young boys. ~Wufei would protest that word.~ Duo thought amusedly. ~But that's what we are. Soldiers, and fighters, and pilots, but still boys. Not that we had a childhood. The only one who seems to have any semblance of an ordinary childhood at all is Quatre. And Wufei, at least before the war claimed us.~

The war. It all came down to that, didn't it? It seemed that every moment in his life had been affected by the war. That was why he fought. So that no one else would have to go through what he went through.

What they all went through. ~We've all lost so much,~ he sighed. Especially Heero. The rest of them at least had some shreds of a normal life. Duo had had the Maxwell Church, Trowa had Cathrine, Quatre had his family, and Wufei had had *his* family. Heero... what did he have? Duo knew that Heero was probably the closest friend he ever had. He was just too.. too.. seemingly cold at times that it infuriated him. Other times he'd just look at Heero and wonder just what his friend had gone through to make him the Perfect Soldier.

He saw the colony and prepared himself for the battle ahead.

Maybe in time Heero would let him in and help him through whatever he needed help with. Duo supposed that Heero may like him too. Otherwise he'd have been dead by now, Gundam pilot or not.

Gundam pilot. Time to do his job then.

"Sorry. But sneaking in without notice happens to be my specialty..."

Friends and loves we have none, nor wealth nor blest abode,
But the hope of the City of God at the other end of the road.

Strangely enough, this time it bothered him. Every other time he had gone on a suicidal mission, all he had felt was relief. Dying meant that he didn't have to be a soldier anymore. But then things changed.

He had met her. He had met him. They had changed his way of thinking gradually. They had made him realize that he could be more than the Perfect Soldier. They had made him realize that he was allowed to be human.

Relena... her shining innocence and beliefs had awakened a part in him that he had thought long dead. He admired her for her sincerity. This had urged him to protect her time and again. He couldn't allow another innocent to suffer. He had to try and protect her for as long as he could. Which wouldn't be very long now.

Duo... The smiling violet-eyed boy who thought he was the God of Death. Duo had helped him discover the simple pleasures in life, albeit vicariously. If they had had more time, perhaps Duo might have even been able to cajole him into joining him. But it had been enough to just be near him. He admired him for his vivacity, his sheer eagerness for life.

They were both important to him, but he didn't know how or why. No, he did know. He just didn't want to face it. Heero fatalistically thought that anything he openly cared for would die. ~That's why I couldn't show that I even felt anything...~

Now that he was about to die, he might as well resolve his feelings. He had to make peace with himself before he met his maker. If there was one. Hn. Theology had never been a point of interest to him. Now was not the time to start. He had more important things in mind. He had to finally know.

He loved her. He loved him. The question was, who did he love more?

Was it Relena? Heero had always been faintly amused at her persistence in chasing after him. But he had mostly been annoyed. Couldn't she understand that he was a soldier and had no time for petty disturbances?

Was it Duo? While he was always slightly aggravating to be around, there was just *something* about him that drew Heero to crave being near him. Though he never showed it. If anything, he had tried to make Duo think that he had never thought anything about him beyond the mission. Even if that wasn't true.

He never really had time with them, just brief instances in between the war.

Heero remembered saying to Zechs that he didn't want to kill him because Relena would be sad. He didn't want her to be. But he didn't want Duo to be sad either. He also recalled feeling a kinship with Zechs, beyond both of them being soldiers. That had been another reason he tried to spare him.

Relena had always preached that pacifism and pure intentions could stop the war. She had counseled the discardment of all weapons and that if they had only ceased fighting, then all would be over.

Duo had always believed that one had to never give in, that you had to keep fighting to protect your beliefs. Heero agreed with Duo. But just what did he believe in? To protect the colonies. To protect her. To protect him, difficult as it may be sometimes. As a Gundam pilot, Duo was always in the thick of things. But he had always managed to survive. Maybe he really was Shinigami. Heero shook his head. Inane thoughts like that were not helping his situation.

Relena he admired. But he also admired Duo. Who did he understand? Neither, really. But somehow he felt that he knew Duo more.

Who did he like being near? Both. Until Relena irritated him with her blind naivety and Duo aggravated him with his incessant chatter. Heero had to admit that it was Relena who made him want to leave sooner. He wanted to protect her, but that didn't mean he had to agree with her. That girl just wouldn't leave things alone. Sooner or later, every time they were together, she would try and convince him to stop fighting. Didn't she know by now that he would always fight for what he believed in? That it was what led him to always protect *her*?

Who did he have things in common with? Heero felt that Duo was the clear winner in this department. Relena would never understand how he could still keep on fighting. Not after everything he had gone through in the past and recently. Heero also knew that she wouldn't even bother trying. She'd just try and talk him over to her side again.

Talk. Hn. ~Whose voice annoys me more?~ Heero thought with a smirk. Obviously it was Relena. Duo had a pleasant mellow voice. The problem was that sometimes he heard too much of it.

Heero was growing vaguely irritated with the whole situation. Really, how was it so difficult a problem that he couldn't solve it? What would be the deciding factor? What would finally make him realize just *how* he felt for them? He didn't have enough time to dawdle. He had to settle this *now*.

What did they make him think of? Relena made him think of... a puppy. All happy and panting and jumping up on him. Duo made him think of... sunshine and flowers and warmth? That was... peculiar to say the least. But Heero reasoned that he couldn't exactly expect himself to be thinking clearly at this moment.

Who was he comfortable with? Heero guessed that it was mostly Duo. Relena made him... nervous at times with her devotion to him. But then again, sometimes Duo just had this certain way of looking at him that made him uncomfortable. Duo would become still and unreadable, something that would remind Heero of the fact that despite appearances, Duo was a soldier too. Heero had never let those moments affect him outwardly. Inside though, he would squirm. What was he thinking of?

Who was he more attracted to? Oddly enough, he had just never thought of Relena that way. Oh, he always knew that she was beautiful, but it was in almost a peripheral way. It just didn't seem to matter what she looked like. She was Relena. But when it came to Duo... Heero flushed. As much as he could anyways. His eyes... Heero mentally stopped that train of thought. Best to leave things at that. No need to get sidetracked.

Questions, questions, questions. Which one would help? So far, none had clarified his thoughts, though they did give him a hint of perhaps which one...

Finally, he thought of the one question that would end the confusion. It was so simple, but its answer will show him who.

Who could he not live without?

A sad face crossed his mind. ~Ne, Heero. Don't go.~

His eyes cleared up, ~I won't. Don't cry for me. I love...~ A determined expression crossed his face. He finally understood how he felt about both of them.

He chose.

"I... I...... won't die!"

Yup! This is the end of my inane, insane, rambling thoughts on the series. Until next time, that is. ^^;; Whoo!! Whatta weird trip, ne? ^^;;

Treize = episode 1
Relena = episode uh..2? Maybe 4? ^^;;
Zechs = episode ack.. o_0;; 9? 8? something like that... ^^;;
Lady Une = episode 10
Wufei = episode 12
Quatre = episode 21
Trowa = episode 38
Duo = episode 43
Heero = episode 49

Anybody wanna guess as to who I'm having Treize compare himself to? ^_^

Back to the fanfics page. ^_^
Send comments to: denised@idmail.com

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